GRANDFATHER CLOCK

           The clocks struck on. Ticking out of turn, they clucked to each other back and forth above her head. Five clocks ticking to each other through the plaster walls. Five clocks she could not remember the names of. Her eyes followed the giant pendulum of the grandfather clock, swinging gently. She had to strain to hear the grandfather clock’s tick. His was deeper than the others, stronger somehow. Impossibly gentle.

            Her hands were folded. Her fingers hurt from the folding, but the small clawing pain was a comfort. She sat in a dark corner of the living room on the corduroy armchair. The protective sleeves had fallen to the floor like moldy orange peels. Everyone remembered that armchair. The lights had been turned off in the hope that the poor thing would sleep. Tessa had not eaten yet that day, of course. She needed a good meal in her and a few quiet hours of rest. It had been a long day for the girl. Tessa had handled everything well. Everything was handled well. My Land! Everyone was well. Right now she was safe. Safe so now Tessa could sleep. She was not thinking about sleep.

            That night in the dark corner Tessa stopped hearing the ticking clocks. Her ears buzzed in memory. Her irises were dilated, her eyelids heavy. Tessa stared straight ahead at the wall. She stared at the wall and tried to call up the stories like always, but they would not come. The wall was blank. Tessa could not remember. Instead other things tore hard at her mind, ripping and clawing, and she could barely stand it. Tessa shook, her black eyes staring at the wall until someone came and covered her.

            The white afghan spread out across her lap felt strange to her. It moved over her skin like something very far away, shifting slowly. She did not have the strength to lift it. Her strength was somewhere far down. Her strength was miles under the earth, beneath rock and gravel, and hard as she tried she could only move her fingers a few inches under the covers. Adders recoiling under the white afghan.

Everyone was moving slowly. So slowly her eyes could not really follow their movement. The others walked in on their toes, carefully stepping across the carpet. They placed one foot down, set their weight on it, and then cautiously took another step. She heard quiet cracking sounds when they did this.

            Later the ticking was softer and she could hear the grandfather clock. She did not really want to look at his face, but she could not help it. The slow, gentle sounds from the Grandfather clock drowned out all the other noises. She felt the ticking deep within her. It was close to the rhythm of her heart. She felt her heart adjust to the ticking. Tessa was not at all sure who she was anymore. Not knowing who she was, Tessa fell asleep.